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Well, I didn't choose to become an immigrant. Being too young to make a decision for myself. Like all Chinese parents, my hardworking parents brought me here with the best intentions, that I would have a much better future here than staying back in China. Put it mildly, it turned my world right on its head. Moving from the city fringes of Shanghai to Sydney in one day was an incredibly alien experience for a then 14 year old.
First day in Australia was the beginning of last week of the school term. I was enrolled into the Intensive Language Center (ILC) in Chatswood the second day after arrival. New school term started 3 weeks later. First day of school I found myself in front of a number of portable housing. It was like the first day in kindergarten all over again. The teachers were very kind indeed, which made life a lot more enjoyable. I still remember there were two teachers who were a young couple Mr. & Mrs. Fisher. Mr. Fisher could even write his name in Chinese: “渔夫”. I was really impressed. There were students from all over the world. In those days I was the only one from mainland. Students from HK would think I was the inferior sibling they had from Canton. Students from Taiwan would think I was the communist enemy/refugee that spoke the same language as them. There were also students from Korean, Italy, and Eastern Europe etc. To say I was culture shocked would be an understatement. It is amazing how fast people adapt to changes. I don’t know if I could do it all over again now. Time really flied. Plenty of memories from those days, the care free days. Before I know I have successfully completed language training. It was then time for me to face the real world. Chatswood High School, the place I tasted pride and honor for the first time in my life and a host of other bad experiences. This was the place I had my crash courses in dealing with racism, school bullies and homesickness. I also learnt the meanings of “see you after school” and “go home”. Then year 11 came so unexpectedly, I moved on to the much better Killara High School. Thank god for that! If there was one…
During my high school years I realized that there is this thing called culture gap. I was displaced from my old culture and couldn't quite see myself fit into the new one, which I was supposedly to be welcomed into. How could you fit in when others were calling out abusive racist names? Walking on the street, every second day there would be a car racing pass with some racist slur flying out of the car windows. It was a very hard time. I was torn between the two cultures, confused and lost about who I was and what to do with myself. Those were indeed very dark days. Looking back now I realized I was under depression. Fortunately I was quite athletic so no one dared to pick a fight with me. The bullies in Killara would back away as soon as I gave them the look. All these experiences were not all bad. They got me thinking, made me question everything. I became very much into the learning of all sorts of things, which were philosophical and spiritual in nature, especially the traditional Chinese schools of thinking. At the end of this long self-realization process, I came out as the person I am today. I was, and still am, what I had being.
So why am I still in Australia? You may be surprised with my answer, but here it is. When I was younger, I was too busy trying to stay afloat from all these changes and life phase I was going through. After I finally entered university, I was able to go back to China a few times. Sorry to say this but the China I went back to was no longer the China I had in my memories. My Shangri-la had already been destroyed. This new place filled with cutthroat competition, ever more materialistic society and the pollution and noise is not where my home was. China is still my motherland but not my home. Here in Australia is my home. And my wife, she is the most beautiful lady I have ever met. I am so grateful for having her with me. Without her my life would have being nothing but shades of gray.
Oh, did I tell you about all the odd jobs I had done in all these years ever since the second month I arrived in Australia? I would not go into details but I have to say they were experiences I treasure. I must thank my parents for showing me the essence of survival. There is no job too hard, too dirty or too lowly paid, when it comes down to survival you do anything you can, and I do mean anything. So whenever I see people complain about they can’t find any job I really pity them.
This is the story of this young immigrant so far and hopeful would continue for a lot of years to come with his beloved wife by his side and children(???). :) I wish all the new immigrants displaced from their own culture or country, by choice or not, to know this: be yourself and know who you really are. There is nothing more devastating than loosing your own identity.
Best wishes for the coming years and wish all of you a fulfilling life here in Australia. Most importantly I wish you a life of contentment.
[ 本帖最后由 黑山老妖 于 2007-8-1 17:32 编辑 ] |
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