谈谈英文写作 （话题之十一（266楼）反射性(写作)思维 （Reflective Thinking）

洋八路

原帖由 SMART1968 于 2010-9-5 22:10 发表
Budgies
Budgies are small birds  
They are a type of parrot
I think they are cool
Thunderstorms
Big, grey
Roaring, raining, blasting
It is very dangerous
Rainstorms
Leopard
Big, slim, fast, cool
Runni ...

点评：

        第一首诗，写的很好啊。
        格式排列很好，roaring, raining, blasting  and running, climbing, pouncing, 对的好。
        改进的地方： 有点走题，题目是budgies, 可是后半部分写的是leopard。 如果能勾画出budgies 在那些凶猛的leopard环境下悠然自得的啄吃种子的情景，就很完美了。当然，如果可以找一些可以rhyme （押韵）的词，也会增色不少。。


Budgies
Budgies are small birds  
They are a type of parrot
I think they are cool
Thunderstorms
Big, grey
Roaring, raining, blasting
It is very dangerous
Rainstorms
Leopard
Big, slim, fast, cool
Running, climbing, pouncing
I think they are the best runners
Cheetah  （if the author can refer back the budgies on second half, it will be a self-enclosed beautiful peom)

[ 本帖最后由 洋八路 于 2010-9-6 09:57 编辑 ]

洋八路

原帖由 SMART1968 于 2010-9-5 22:12 发表
另神童天才补习班的要求需要传上来吗？

可以啊，让大家看看。。

洋八路

原帖由 jiangkitty 于 2010-9-5 22:18 发表
何老师，

谢谢您了。什么时候您在Hills开班呀，我们一定报名。我儿子二年级，可要等到四年级才能参加您的学校，时间有点久。

您客气了。以后可以把小孩的文章贴上来，让大家点评点评。。

SMART1968

原帖由 洋八路 于 2010-9-6 09:49 发表


可以啊，让大家看看。。

不知能看清楚吗？

洋八路

看的清楚。那个点评，在61楼。。

barry.wang1

哇，原来这是写作指导呀。太好了，收藏。
好象这位何老师也在HILLS区，能不能以后每周让我儿子写点东西您给指导一下，我儿子今年七年级，写作一直是他的弱项，也不知道怎么让他提高，可他自我感觉很好。哪天请您给他开导开导。

barry.wang1

听人家说背范文很管用，何老师能不能推荐几本对写作有帮助的书给我们。

洋八路

原帖由 barry.wang1 于 2010-9-6 17:49 发表
听人家说背范文很管用，何老师能不能推荐几本对写作有帮助的书给我们。

背范文是有用，不过很少学生可以坚持下去。我一般是提供精读文章，每天读两遍，抄一遍，每个星期两-- 三篇。要完成100篇，可以达到一种熟练程度。然后是泛读（每周至少看自己感兴趣的书，加上书评）。。 几本书是不够，泛读的要小孩自己喜欢看才行。死记硬背有用，但很辛苦。

barry.wang1

谢谢回复。其实小孩很听老师的话，希望你跟他开导开导。

guyue

何老师， 请点评一下我儿子的这篇作文好吗。多谢！
Fantasy Adventure – Diggler’s Escape
“Diggler! Quick! Let’s escape from here!” whispers Merv. Merv and Clara have just rescued their dog, Diggler from Dorvark, the mad wizard. Now they need to find a way out of Dorvark’s evil castle.
“Maybe we can use Diggler in our escape plan.” Clara suggests.
“Emergency! Emergency! We have a guard who is injured! Please go to the back entrance of the castle immediately!” announces Diggler. Diggler is the only talking dog in Australia. That’s why Dorvak tried to capture him.
While Dorvark is tricked by running to the back entrance with his guards, Merv, Clara and Diggler dash to the front entrance and escape out of the evil castle.
After Dovard realizes he’s been tricked, he rushes to the front entrance, only to find the footprints of Merv, Clara and Diggler leading down the mountain. Dorvark is so angry that he uses his magic trident to send black wasps after them.
The brother and sister and their little dog are running down the mountain when Merv hears the noise of the flying wasps.
“Gather up together as soon as possible! Black wasps are chasing us!” shouts Merv over the noise.
All three of them lie down quickly and get into a big snowball.
“Aaarrrh!” they scream because the snowball is rolling down fast and nobody can see that the snowball is heading to a huge rock.
SMASH! The snowball bursts into pieces of snow flying everywhere. Luckily no one is seriously injured.
“It’s time to use our special ability. Let’s become invisible and carry Diggler to the escape helicopter,’’ Merv gulps.
By that time, Dorvark has arrived. To his shock, he sees a flying dog moving towards the forest. Dorvark is also amazed that the flying dog can turn left and right, without realizing that it’s actually carried by the two kids. He just stands there, not knowing what to do.
Within a few minutes, the dog “flies” into the helicopter standing in the forest with a spot marked H. Soon, the helicopter gets started and flies away.
Dorvark can never understand why a dog can fly. He thinks and thinks so hard that he becomes insane. In the end, Dorvak is thrown into the mad house, where he spends the rest of his life!

洋八路

原帖由 guyue 于 2010-9-6 23:24 发表
何老师， 请点评一下我儿子的这篇作文好吗。他四年级。多谢！
Fantasy Adventure – Diggler’s Escape
“Diggler! Quick! Let’s escape from here!” whispers Merv. Merv and Clara have just rescued their dog, Dig ...

点评：

        写的很好，很生动。
        事件交待的清楚，文句也很通顺（优秀）。
        时态用的很一致，没有错误 （优秀）。

            需要改进的地方：加点时间的概念，比如故事发生在上午，晚上？还有一些逻辑细节可以补充一下。

Fantasy Adventure – Diggler’s Escape

“Diggler! Quick! Let’s escape from here!” whispers Merv. Merv and Clara have just rescued their dog, Diggler from Dorvark, the mad wizard. Now they need to find a way out of Dorvark’s evil castle.
“Maybe we can use Diggler in our escape plan.” Clara suggests.
“Emergency! Emergency! We have a guard who is injured! Please go to the back entrance of the castle immediately!” announces Diggler （How to announce? Please tell your reader in more detail）. Diggler is the only talking dog in Australia. That’s why Dorvak tried to capture him.
While Dorvark is tricked by running to the back entrance with his guards, Merv, Clara and Diggler dash to the front entrance and escape out of the evil castle.
After Dovard realizes he’s been tricked, he rushes to the front entrance, only to find the footprints of Merv, Clara and Diggler leading down the mountain. Dorvark is so angry that he uses his magic trident to send black wasps after them.
The brother and sister （this relationship could be revealed earlier） and their little dog are running down the mountain when Merv hears the noise of the flying wasps.
“Gather up together as soon as possible! Black wasps are chasing us!” shouts Merv over the noise.
All three of them lie down quickly and get into a big snowball(more about this snowball, how..is there?).
“Aaarrrh!” they scream because the snowball is rolling down fast and nobody can see that the snowball is heading to a huge rock.
SMASH! The snowball bursts into pieces of snow flying everywhere. Luckily no one is seriously injured (How, not injured?).
“It’s time to use our special ability. Let’s become invisible and carry Diggler to the escape helicopter,’’ Merv gulps.
By that time, Dorvark has arrived. To his shock, he sees a flying dog moving towards the forest. Dorvark is also amazed that the flying dog can turn left and right, without realizing that it’s actually carried by the two kids (how? Can fly apart from being invisible? Then wasp should not bother them? ). He just stands there, not knowing what to do.
Within a few minutes, the dog “flies” into the helicopter standing in the forest with a spot marked H. Soon, the helicopter gets started and flies away.
Dorvark can never understand why a dog can fly. He thinks and thinks so hard that he becomes insane. In the end, Dorvak is thrown into the mad house, where he spends the rest of his life

guyue

At work, thus can't type in Chinese.

Thanks a lot!!!

ECLF408

何老师， 点评一下这篇作文好吗。2年级。多谢！

Killer plants

People eat plants. Animals eat plants. Insects eat plants. But some plants are not happy to be someone else is meal--they bite back!
Imagine the people are amazement when the scientist found plants that can eat in sects!
Carnivorous plants usually live in places that the nutrients are poor in the soil.
The most famous killer plant is terrenes fly trap; it means death to any ants, fly or wasp!
It grows only to about 15cm tall.
The monkey cups has powerful digestive liquid in it, monkeys in the juggle had been seen to drink the liquid in it!

洋八路

原帖由 ECLF408 于 2010-9-11 17:08 发表
何老师， 点评一下这篇作文好吗。2年级。多谢！

Killer plants

People eat plants. Animals eat plants. Insects eat plants. But some plants are not happy to be someone else is meal--they bite back!
Imagine th ...

点评：
        -- 开头开的很好，写的很生动。

改进的地方：

        -- 内容部分少了点，对这种植物要多做点调研（Research），并且把知识内容写在一个大点的段落里，而不是一句一句的分列，因为不是对话，也不是写诗。
            
        -- 缺乏结尾

Killer plants

People eat plants. Animals eat plants. Insects eat plants. But some plants are not happy to be someone else’s meal--they bite back! （excellent opening!）
Imagine how people are amazed when the scientist found plants that can eat insects!
Carnivorous plants usually live in places that the nutrients are poor in the soil. The most famous killer plant is terrenes fly trap; it means death to any ants, fly or wasp! It grows only to about 15cm tall. （can write more about this plant）
The monkey cups (is this another variety of carnivorous plants? Need to explain) has powerful digestive liquid in it, monkeys in the juggle had been seen to drink the liquid in it! (Monkey cup is a type of carnivorous plant. This sentence is not scientifically correct. Remember this is not a fictional or narrative writing)
Ending? （eg: When you see this type of plants, be careful Do NOT put your fingers inside the cup!）

SMART1968

谢谢何老师，这是小福州在马女士那里最后一篇，接下来考试了，不是神童天才补习班的功课。麻烦何老师了谢谢。

SMART1968

The moon was like a dimming hope in the foreboding night. Distraught and distressed, it struggled through the broken window to form a dim, dappled pattern on the dilapidated garage. Now and again, it glanced at a shadowy car park. In this stood the van, with a cracked windscreen, a cracked heart and a cracked soul. Forlornly, he remembered the garage sale.
The cars had barricaded the garage door in a frenzy of revving, honking and braking; the utes, the sport cars, the sedans, the four-wheel drives – and, in a shady corner, the old, broken-down van. The air was full of hope.               
“I travel so fast, I’m definitely going to be bought”
“And I have such plush leather seats, a luxury car if ever there was one.”
Blah, blah, blah... blah, blah, blah... and as expected, the new cars were sold to excited owners-all except for the old car. He was all dented; he was the dented car. Paralysed, he stared at the garage door as it closed. Despair set in. Total despair. Crash! The silence was punctuated. With a bang, a flashy car whizzed and zoomed and sped through the broken door and hurtled towards the car park. He skidded like tyres braking on oil, to stop in front of the dented car.
“Oh, curse the gods! I’ll never reach the engineer now! That was the last of my fuel.”
But the dented car had a plan and immediately rumbled into action.

He might have been insignificant; he might have been humiliated, but he was resolute- the dented car was going to push the flashy car all the way to the engineer. Well, he shoved and he heaved then he panted. He strained and puffed then panted. Exhaustion annihilated his inner strength, making him as fragile as a wounded sparrow.
“Must go on... must get him to the engineer... can’t pause... won’t pause”
Well he pushed and shoved then panted. He trudged and he forced then panted. The door was in his vision...just...a...few...more...pushes... and... that’s when it happened-he slipped on some oil.

Chaos ensued; propel- shoot- somersault- hurtle-cartwheel- flip- wobble-twirl- right down to a pair of sturdy work boots. Automatically, he picked up the wrench and started to work on the flashy car; admiringly he fixed up the dented car too. The dented car had just become the strong car. He puffed out his chest as he surveyed the bright light of the jubilant moon, which chuckled lightly at the engineer work shop.

ECLF408

谢谢何老师。

jiangkitty

何老师， 麻烦您点评一下。year 2 - subject:  Do you like animals? What is your favouriate animal? Why?

The Komodo Dragon

Animals are my favourite creatures in teh whole universe.  They are cut, handsome adn cool.  They can also be fierce, scary, frightening, timid and shy.

They aminal that I woudl tell you is the fierce looking Komodo dragon.  I like this reptile because tehy are gigantic in their size.  Secondly they have an orgnish brown skin and it has sharp claus.  Lastly this very dangerous creature has teeth that are assharp as
knives.

Komodo drago eat anything that grow as big as a goat.  Sometimes they also eat deer, buffalo, invertebrates, horses, monkeys, bird eggs adn birds.  Baby komodo dragons ofteneat geckoes, insects, eggs and small animals.  The food will be digest in 15-20 minutes.  They usually swallow it whole adn then wait til it's digested.

They live in the dry and rough places at the five islands: Florea, Gili, Podar, Rintga.  (I suggested him list the country, but he did not).  their body gets up to80'c when these enganered animals crawl slowly to the islands. They weight up to 150kgs and grow to about 3.3 metres.  They are second biggest lizard in the world.

These are some of the interesting information about the komod dragon.

[ 本帖最后由 jiangkitty 于 2010-9-12 17:55 编辑 ]

jiangkitty

再传一篇，今天有点时间。谢谢何老师。 year 2

Subject: write a story about a boy who could fly.

On a hot summer day, in a tweeny weeny village, there was a special boy Joe who coudl fly.  He wanted to go to the Amazon Forrest in South America because hiw village was as hot as the red and organge sun.

So on the day Joe said goodbye to his mum and dad and flew as fast as he could to the forest.  After one month of flying in the blue sky, he landed safely in the middle of the zamazing forest.  the brave boy walked and walked until he met a group of campers camping there.  He told them where he lived and they told him where most of the animals lived.  After their lunch the campers adn Joe went to search for awesome animals.  After 30 minutes of walking one of the campers found a tiny cute gecko hiding in one of the strange leaves of the herb.  They came to a shallow river.  Joe the boy found a turtle swimming in the clear river.  Jose also found five eels swimming near the dirty sand in the river.

After that they climbed up onto a mountain called Pic Da Nablina.  Another camper in the goup found a pair of bald-headed eagles gliding through the air.  They looked closer with their binoculars and found famingoes, toucans, macaus, the wood peckers in the forest and a white backed vulture.

In the night they also saw jogusers, red-kneed torantulas, a green cat snake and a guinea pig.

The boy loved the day and hope to be there another time.

[ 本帖最后由 jiangkitty 于 2010-9-12 17:56 编辑 ]

洋八路

原帖由 SMART1968 于 2010-9-12 16:10 发表
The moon was like a dimming hope in the foreboding night. Distraught and distressed, it struggled through the broken window to form a dim, dappled pattern on the dilapidated garage. Now and again, it  ...

洋八路点评：

        -- 作者的词汇量很丰富，善于用动词来提高文章的活跃程度。
           -- 句子通顺，表现方式灵活。

            -- 需要改进的地方：
        -- 主题不是很清楚：不清楚作者想表达什么主题 – 是这辆旧车要卖还是要修，为什么要努力推那辆名牌车？
        -- 事件的发生地点不清：是在修车场，车库还是车行？
        -- 人物不清：文章中有很多的 he, 没有交待清楚.
            -- 编故事的时候要提高逻辑性。

           

The Dented Car

The moon was like a dimming hope in the foreboding night. Distraught and distressed, it struggled through the broken window to form a dim, dappled pattern on the dilapidated garage. Now and again, it glanced at a shadowy car park. In this stood the van, with a cracked windscreen, a cracked heart and a cracked soul. Forlornly, he remembered the garage sale. （This opening itself is described very vividly and cohesively – a gloom theme in a moonlight evenig, but it didn’t match the following scenario the least）
The cars had barricaded the garage door in a frenzy of revving, honking and braking; the utes, the sport cars, the sedans, the four-wheel drives – and, in a shady corner, the old, broken-down van. The air was full of hope (how come the atmosphere is now full of hope? You just desicribed an distraught and hopeless moon. Anything changed ever since?).               
“I travel so fast, I’m definitely going to be bought”  (Seems it is for a car sale event in a market?)
“And I have such plush leather seats, a luxury car if ever there was one.”
Blah, blah, blah... blah, blah, blah (not appropriate in writing)... and as expected, the new cars were sold to excited owners-all except for the old car (so it is evident that this is happenning in a car yard of Auto Market). He was all dented; he was the dented car. Paralysed, he stared at the garage door as it closed. Despair set in. Total despair (despair for what? Being old?and not being sold?). Crash! The silence was punctuated. With a bang, a flashy car whizzed and zoomed and sped through the broken door (what door? You just said the door is closed?)and hurtled towards the car park (what do you mean car park? Where did the story happen?). He skidded like tyres braking on oil, to stop in front of the dented car.
“Oh, curse the gods! I’ll never reach the engineer now! That was the last of my fuel.” (Reach engineer? what engineer do you refer to?)
But the dented car had a plan and immediately rumbled into action (what motivated the dented car to have this plan and action? Can you explain?).

He might have been insignificant; he might have been humiliated, but he was resolute- the dented car was going to push the flashy car all the way to the engineer (ok,, he wanted to push the flashy car to the engineer, why?). Well, he shoved and he heaved then he panted. He strained and puffed then panted. Exhaustion annihilated his inner strength, making him as fragile as a wounded sparrow (very good usage of verb).
“Must go on... must get him to the engineer... can’t pause... won’t pause”
Well he pushed and shoved then panted. He trudged and he forced then panted. The door was in his vision...just...a...few...more...pushes... and... that’s when it happened-he slipped on some oil.

Chaos ensued; propel- shoot- somersault- hurtle-cartwheel- flip- wobble-twirl- right down to a pair of sturdy work boots. Automatically, he (who is he here? You didn’t inidicate whatsoever who is he? The dented car or flashy car or a technician?) picked up the wrench and started to work on the flashy car; admiringly he fixed up the dented car too (so he is a technician, supposed to be in a car repair centre?). The dented car had just become the strong car. He puffed out his chest as he surveyed the bright light of the jubilant moon, which chuckled lightly at the engineer work shop (good you have a slight reference back to your opening theme although not clear what caused the distraught moon became so delighted? – only because the dented car has now been repaired? or sold? Your reader is confused.).

洋八路

原帖由 jiangkitty 于 2010-9-12 17:28 发表
何老师， 麻烦您点评一下。year 2 - subject:  Do you like animals? What is your favouriate animal? Why?

The Komodo Dragon

Animals are my favourite creatures in teh whole universe.  They are cut, handsom ...

洋八路点评：

--  几个原因列举的很好，不呆板
--  知识介绍通顺，基本符合写作主题

需要改进的地方

--  文章结构可以更紧密地贴近写作要求：比如，第一段可以 -- 回答，do you like animals, 第二段回答：what is your faviourite animal? 第三...  段：Reasons I like it most.  或更多列举你最喜欢的理由, 第四段，ending..

-- 很多错别字，可能是上传时的错误，这里就不提了。

--------------------


The Komodo Dragon

Animals are my favourite creatures in teh whole universe (favourite creatures or favourite animal? The subject is your favourite animal, a bit confusion here. You could just state you like animals)  They are cut, handsome adn cool.  They can also be fierce, scary, frightening, timid and shy.

They aminal that I woudl tell you is the fierce looking Komodo dragon (better you state Komodo dragon is your favourite animal to fulfill the writing request).  I like this reptile because tehy are gigantic in their size.  Secondly they have an orgnish brown skin and it has sharp claus.  Lastly this very dangerous creature has teeth that are assharp as knives. (good listing order however can be expanded in more detail)

Komodo drago eat anything that grow as big as a goat.  Sometimes they also eat deer, buffalo, invertebrates, horses, monkeys, bird eggs adn birds.  Baby komodo dragons ofteneat geckoes, insects, eggs and small animals.  The food will be digest in 15-20 minutes.  They usually swallow it whole adn then wait til it's digested. (This paragraph is about the diet of drago -- general information. Are these the reasons you like it most? If not, this paragraph can be broung upwards for drago description when stating your favourite)

They live in the dry and rough places at the five islands: Florea, Gili, Podar, Rintga.  (I suggested him list the country, but he did not).  their body gets up to80'c when these enganered animals crawl slowly to the islands. They weight up to 150kgs and grow to about 3.3 metres.  They are second biggest lizard in the world. (same as the paragraph above. Some parts could also be used to support your reason 1: gigantic size )

These are some of the interesting information about the komod dragon. (This ending has limited reference back to the writing subject -- your faviourite animal and why? It is not supposed to be a subject of Komodo dragon only)

洋八路

原帖由 jiangkitty 于 2010-9-12 17:52 发表
再传一篇，今天有点时间。谢谢何老师。 year 2

Subject: write a story about a boy who could fly.

On a hot summer day, in a tweeny weeny village, there was a special boy Joe who coudl fly.  He wanted to g ...

洋八路点评：

-- 故事本身写的不错，时间排列的段落清楚，基本满足了故事陈述的要求。

需要改进：

-- 贴近主题不够：文章的意图是通过一个故事来描述这个会飞的男孩。作者没有对这个小孩进行详细的描述，只是笼统地说会飞。文章里探险行为是任何一个男孩都可以做到的。


Subject: write a story about a boy who could fly.

On a hot summer day, in a tweeny weeny village, there was a special boy Joe who coudl fly (need to give more description of this special flying boy).  He wanted to go to the Amazon Forrest in South America because hiw village was as hot as the red and organge sun.(Is hot being the main reason he wanted to go?)

So on the day Joe said goodbye to his mum and dad and flew as fast as he could to the forest.  After one month of flying in the blue sky, he landed safely in the middle of the zamazing forest.  the brave boy walked and walked until he met a group of campers camping there.  He told them where he lived and they told him where most of the animals lived.  After their lunch the campers adn Joe went to search for awesome animals.  After 30 minutes of walking one of the campers found a tiny cute gecko hiding in one of the strange leaves of the herb.  They came to a shallow river.  Joe the boy found a turtle swimming in the clear river.  Jose also found five eels swimming near the dirty sand in the river.（need to describe more about his flying feature and how he was different from other campers)

After that they climbed up onto a mountain called Pic Da Nablina.  Another camper in the goup found a pair of bald-headed eagles gliding through the air.  They looked closer with their binoculars and found famingoes, toucans, macaus, the wood peckers in the forest and a white backed vulture.

In the night they also saw jogusers, red-kneed torantulas, a green cat snake and a guinea pig.

The boy loved the day and hope to be there another time. (good you have a proper ending..)

SMART1968

谢谢何老师，等马女士作业改完后我贴出来对比一下，谢谢。

barry.wang1

辛苦 辛苦

jiangkitty

谢谢何老师。是我上传打得太快，有错误。没有检查。

春来草自青

何老师，有空的话能否点评一下我孩子写的这篇文，是看电影哈利波特后的评论，孩子今年3年级。非常感谢！

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire the movie is all about Harry Potter’s fourth year at Hogwarts school of witch craft and wizadry. And in this year Harry Potter was picked by the goblet of fire to go in a Triwizard Tournament which you can die from .The movie contains some violence at the end so little kids better not watch it.

I thought Harry Potter’s fourth movie didn’t have a very good start because I wouldn’t have understood it if I hadn’t read the book. It was confusing to watch the start because you didn’t understand whom the characters were and what they were trying to do. I could see that Lord Voldemort was plotting to kill someone but I didn’t know what Wormtail was until later in the movie where it finally said that Wormtail was somebody.

I like Madeye Moody’s characteristic because he wasn’t always obeying things the ministry says and would do things that others usually wouldn’t.

In the movie it was odd to see Dumbledore get a bit mad at Harry Potter, which he normally wouldn’t, and it was fascinating to see how quickly things change from light to dark, for example, when they were doing the Triwizard Tournament ,which is something that three schools do together, they started in front of a cheering crowd and in no time they were surrounded by Voldemort and his followers.

I think it should be interesting to watch at some point, but not for three or four year old,because it will scare them. But maybe not if they don’t know whom the characters are and what is going on.

ECLF408

辛苦何老师了。

洋八路

原帖由 春来草自青 于 2010-9-14 13:11 发表
何老师，有空的话能否点评一下我孩子写的这篇文，是看电影哈利波特后的评论，孩子今年3年级。非常感谢！

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire the movie is all about Harry Potter’s fourth year at Hogwarts school of  ...

点评：

-- 作者很有思想和见解，三年级的学生算很“厉害了”
-- 作者有很强的复合句子运用能力，应该远高于平均水平
-- 作者的文章结构很清楚，每段的意思很明确。

-- 改进的地方 -- 在一些细节上。。

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) (better make movie name outstanding with a release year or month)

the movie is all about Harry Potter’s fourth year at Hogwarts school of witch craft and wizadry (good summary). And in this year Harry Potter was picked by the goblet of fire to go in a Triwizard Tournament which you can die from .The movie contains some violence at the end so little kids better not watch it. (good information)

I thought Harry Potter’s fourth movie (better just use the movie title instead of referring fourth movie) didn’t have a very good start because I wouldn’t have understood it if I hadn’t read the book (good using of tense). It was confusing to watch the start because you didn’t understand whom the characters were and what they were trying to do. I could see that Lord Voldemort was plotting to kill someone but I didn’t know what Wormtail was until later in the movie where it finally said that Wormtail was somebody.

I like Madeye Moody’s characteristic because he wasn’t always obeying things the ministry says and would do things that others usually wouldn’t. (Is this matching the book? you are supposed to explain the character in the movie, eg: how skillfully he plays, superior or inferior to what original book implies)

In the movie it was odd to see Dumbledore get a bit mad at Harry Potter, which he normally wouldn’t, and it was fascinating to see how quickly things change from light to dark, for example, when they were doing the Triwizard Tournament ,which is something that three schools do together, they started in front of a cheering crowd and in no time they were surrounded by Voldemort and his followers (This sentence is far too long, can be cut into easier pieces).

I think it should be interesting to watch at some point (what point? can be more specific), but not for three or four year old,because it will scare them. But maybe not if they don’t know whom the characters are and what is going on.

春来草自青

谢谢洋八路费心！今天逐一看了前面的帖子和点评，很有启发。很多年不写作文都忘了怎么评价作文了。我会一直关注这贴的。

洋八路

原帖由 ECLF408 于 2010-9-14 19:18 发表
辛苦何老师了。

辛苦的是老师，更辛苦的是父母，比父母更辛苦的是小孩。。

[ 本帖最后由 洋八路 于 2010-9-15 09:20 编辑 ]