谈谈英文写作 （话题之十一（266楼）反射性(写作)思维 （Reflective Thinking）

jiangkitty

这是给几年级小朋友的要求呢

jinhl

谢谢何老师

洋八路

原帖由 jiangkitty 于 2010-10-3 23:34 发表
这是给几年级小朋友的要求呢

只要是想提高写作水平，不管几年级都必须有这个要求，区别的只是精读文章的难易程度。

sarahliang

那请问何老师，你在上面提供的那篇是哪个年级的？可不可以提供一个ＹＥＡＲ２ 的。

洋八路

原帖由 sarahliang 于 2010-10-4 21:51 发表
那请问何老师，你在上面提供的那篇是哪个年级的？可不可以提供一个ＹＥＡＲ２ 的。

那篇文章是给Grade 5 writing (可以相当于4-5年级）。注意，小孩的语言能力和所处的学校年级并不直接相关，更多取决于学生本身阅读写作的训练情况和家庭环境。小孩的语言能力（阅读和写作）也要单独评估，比如，刚移民过来的小孩，虽然在学校放在5年级，可是写作水平可能连一年级都达不到。另外，很多人认为大量阅读就可以“自然”提高写作水平，听起来很有道理，可是，据我在实践中观察，这个“自然”程度要比多数人想象的低很多。所以，我们还是不能忽视精读的重要性。当然，如何提高小孩的精读兴趣又是另一回事。我们不能因为小孩“不喜欢”的东西，就简单“放弃”，关键还是要想办法如何让小孩喜欢“抄抄写写”，喜欢朗读，设计各种兴趣小组活动还是可以激发小孩的兴趣的。

这里提供一篇Grade 2写作的文章，供参考。。（注意，习惯和持续比文章本身的内容更重要，语言是靠积累的）

The Ugly Duckling
------------
Once upon a time down on an old farm, lived a duck family, and Mother Duck had been sitting on a clutch of new eggs. One nice morning, the eggs hatched and out popped six chirpy ducklings. But one egg was bigger than the rest, and it didn't hatch. Mother Duck couldn't recall laying that seventh egg. How did it get there? TOCK! TOCK! The little prisoner was pecking inside his shell.

   "Did I count the eggs wrongly?" Mother Duck wondered. But before she had time to think about it, the last egg finally hatched. A strange looking duckling with gray feathers that should have been yellow gazed at a worried mother. The ducklings grew quickly, but Mother Duck had a secret worry.

   "I can't understand how this ugly duckling can be one of mine!" she said to herself, shaking her head as she looked at her last born. Well, the gray duckling certainly wasn't pretty, and since he ate far more than his brothers, he was outgrowing them. As the days went by, the poor ugly duckling became more and more unhappy. His brothers didn't want to play with him, he was so
clumsy, and all the farmyard folks simply laughed at him. He felt sad and lonely, while Mother Duck did her best to console him.

   "Poor little ugly duckling!" she would say. "Why are you so different from the others?" And the ugly duckling felt worse than ever. He secretly wept at night. He felt nobody wanted him.

   "Nobody loves me, they all tease me! Why am I different from my brothers?"

   Then one day, at sunrise, he ran away from the farmyard. He stopped at a pond and began to question all the other birds. "Do you know of any ducklings with gray feathers like mine?" But everyone shook their heads in scorn.

   "We don't know anyone as ugly as you." The ugly duckling did not lose heart, however, and kept on making inquiries. He went to another pond, where a pair of large geese gave him the same answer to his question. What's more, they warned him: "Don't stay here! Go away! It's dangerous. There are men with guns around here!" The duckling was sorry he had ever left the farmyard.

   Then one day, his travels took him near an old countrywoman's cottage. Thinking he was a stray goose, she caught him.

   "I'll put this in a hutch. I hope it's a female and lays plenty of eggs!" said the old woman, whose eyesight was poor. But the ugly duckling laid not a single egg. The hen kept frightening him.

   "Just wait! If you don't lay eggs, the old woman will wring your neck and pop you into the pot!" And the cat chipped in: "Hee! Hee! I hope the woman cooks you, then I can gnaw at your bones!" The poor ugly duckling was so scared that he lost his appetite, though the old woman kept stuffing him with food and grumbling: "If you won't lay eggs, at least hurry up and  get plump!"

   "Oh, dear me!" moaned the now terrified duckling. "I'll die of fright first! And I did so hope someone would love me!"

   Then one night, finding the hutch door ajar, he escaped. Once again he was all alone. He fled as far away as he could, and at dawn, he found himself in a thick bed of reeds. "If nobody wants me, I'll hid here forever." There was plenty a food, and the duckling began to feel a little happier, though he was lonely. One day at sunrise, he saw a flight of beautiful birds wing overhead. White, with long slender necks, yellow beaks and large wings, they were migrating south.

   "If only I could look like them, just for a day!" said the duckling, admiringly. Winter came and the water in the reed bed froze. The poor duckling left home to seek food in the snow. He dropped exhausted to the ground, but a farmer found him and put him in his big jacket pocket.

   "I'll take him home to my children. They'll look after him. Poor thing, he's frozen!" The duckling was showered with kindly care at the farmer's house. In this way, the ugly duckling was able to survive the bitterly cold winter.

   However, by springtime, he had grown so big that the farmer decided: "I'll set him free by the pond!" That was when the duckling saw himself mirrored in the water.

   "Goodness! How I've changed! I hardly recognize myself!" The flight of swans winged north again and glided on to the pond. When the duckling saw them, he realized he was one of their kind, and soon made friends.

   "We're swans like you!" they said, warmly. "Where have you been hiding?"

   "It's a long story," replied the young swan, still astounded. Now, he swam majestically with his fellow swans. One day, he heard children on the river bank exclaim: "Look at that young swan! He's the finest of them all!"

   And he almost burst with happiness.
--------------------

jiangkitty

Thanks

sarahliang

何老师真是太伟大了！提供的兩篇已经编辑打印出来了，打算好好跟女儿练练。

“另外，很多人认为大量阅读就可以“自然”提高写作水平，听起来很有道理，可是，据我在实践中观察，这个“自然”程度要比多数人想象的低很多。所以，我们还是不能忽视精读的重要性。”
说得真好。我一直都ＣＯＮＦＵＳＥ为什么我女儿读的书不少，但是writing 一直不好。

sarahliang

何老师请帮忙看一下我女儿闲时写的一篇，　ＹＥＡＲ２。写的不太像样。
这是　requirement.
You are in a crowded shopping centre with your younger brother or sister. You turn around and he/she was disappeared. You have to find he/she quickly. Tell how you rush from shop to shop, searching. Where do you find him/her?


There lived a girl named Melody who had a little brother called Mike. Melody was 13 and Mike was 3. Once they were at the supermarket. It was so crowded that when Melody was looking at the strawberries, she turned back but she lost sight of Mike.

First Melody rushed to search the bakery, then the supermarket. She was very worried indeed. She was starting to cry. Melody searched until she got to Kmart, she found Mike reading books.

sarahliang

She was so happy that she ran and jumped on Mike. Melody told Mike, " Next time don't run off again." And Mike never did.

刚才漏了最后一段

洋八路

原帖由 sarahliang 于 2010-10-5 23:28 发表
She was so happy that she ran and jumped on Mike. Melody told Mike, " Next time don't run off again." And Mike never did.

刚才漏了最后一段

You are in a crowded shopping centre with your younger brother or sister. You turn around and he/she was disappeared. You have to find he/she quickly. Tell how you rush from shop to shop, searching. Where do you find him/her?

点评：
        --  句子通顺，表达清楚，文字不呆板，还使用了对话，对二年级的学生来说很不错了。
        --  需要改进的地方：最好按照要求以第一人称 “我”来陈述这个故事，可以显得更“亲切”点。可以更加细致的描述“我”的心情和担忧时的表现。还可以想象更多的情节，比如作者急切地询问其他人(对话)，或者找错了人的情景，又或者叫当地保安呼叫这样的情节，这样可以更加生动的描述作者当时焦虑心情和故事气氛。


Better use 'I' in stead of 'Melody' to tell the story.
-------------------
There lived a girl named Melody who had a little brother called Mike.  Melody was 13 and Mike was 3.  Once they were at the supermarket. ( You may tell your reader why only Melody and Mike went there shopping. eg.  – Their parents  asked Melody to look after your little brother as they were away.)  It was so crowded that when Melody was looking at the strawberries, she turned back but she lost sight of Mike (This sentence may be re-written, using one or more sentences to describe “crowd”, and more information how you could lose sight of him..)

You can add a few more sentences here to describe your shock and anxiety when you couldn't find him. Murmuring to yourself would be a good choice.

First(ly) Melody rushed to search the bakery, then the supermarket (where did Melody lose sight of mike? should be somewhere in supermarket first?). She was very worried indeed. She was starting to cry. (You need to write more about your feeling – how you walked, talked and your behaviour when you were so worried?) the  Melody searched until she got to Kmart, she found Mike reading books (seems too easy finding him, need more interesting scenarios, making up more events, asking the cashier, other shoppers, security guard, mistaking another boy as Mike, etc).
She was so happy that she ran and jumped on Mike (Excellent you use powerful verb “jump” to describe your excitement and relief). Melody told Mike, " Next time don't run off again." And Mike never did (Ending naturally, but do you believe a three year boy would listen to you?).

sarahliang

何老师，太感谢了。真的是有茅塞顿开的感觉。用彩打print了，准备给女儿讲解。

jiangkitty

我也贴一篇 儿子写的 作文：
Subject: what do you like doing at the beach? List all the fun things you can do there.  Also write about the dangers you might come across at the beach and how you can do to prevent them from happening.

When I am at the beach I get to do heaps of fun things but some can be fierece or dangerous.  There could be some ways to prevent them but if you get one little mistake it can be fatal.

I would like to play volleyball with my dad, my mum, my cousins, my grandparents and friends.  My team is going to be the Dragon and our opponent's team is going to be called the Roosters.  Secondly I would love to build huge sand castles with a deep moat around the mansion.  It would also have lots of shells, flags, paths and leaves.  Lastly I can go swimming in the shallow end where you can see the sand clearly.  I wouldn't like to swim in the deep part because I might be drowned.

A blue bottle floats in the deep blue water with their long stinging tenacles.  When they are dead they float to shore and stay still.  Their poison is so venomous that it can kill 60 people in just squarting out one spray.  They only tool that can help is vinegar.  The second one that is dangerous is the mussel.  They have really sharp shells that make your body bleed.  They do not harm you unless being disturbed.  You should stay away or be careful not to let them open their disgusting wide mouths.  The last one are slippery rocks.  They might not harm you but they are slippery and sharp.  You should not be near them.

These are beach activities that I enjoy playing.  There are also some information about the dangers and how to prevent these awful danger.  

我不是特别喜欢他的最后一句，总觉得他的每次开头和结尾写得不够生动，怎么办呢？

洋八路

原帖由 jiangkitty 于 2010-10-7 21:04 发表
我也贴一篇 儿子写的 作文：
Subject: what do you like doing at the beach? List all the fun things you can do there.  Also write about the dangers you might come across at the beach and how you can do to  ...

点评：

这篇文章已经写的很好了，贴合主题，文句通顺，结构也很清楚，对危险的动物描述的比较详细和得体。
改进的地方：结尾显得平淡和重复；这是一个informational的文章，虽不能象讲故事那样Creative，但也可以添加一定的情节、文字处理或者幽默等来提高“兴趣度”。

我写了一个开头和结尾，看能否给Jiang 妈妈一点启发？

----
The beach and the glistening sea have always been a place of my joy and fantasy. On sunny weekends, or during summer holidays, the shining sandy memory would start waking up, and on these moments I would keep nudging my mum till she had to cancel all other plans and agreed to bring us to the dreamy seashore over and over again.

----
----
----

Australia is a beach country with vast coastal lines. What a lucky boy I am living in this country! Beaches along the urban areas are quite popular in most of the seasons and can be safer because many neccessary preventative measures have already been put on by the local community as a result of numerous unfortunate tragedies in the past. From now and then, my mum and dad would also drive us to remote seaside, which was still very much at its primitive condition. On these untamed beaches, my mum would never stop shouting “Careful, Careful, Don’t…” until I came to realize that, unlike those clean and tidy ones, here I had to rely on my limited knowledge and safety precaution to protect me from being harmed by its wilderness, while still enjoying the greatest beach pleasure.

----

[ 本帖最后由 洋八路 于 2010-10-8 12:39 编辑 ]

jiangkitty

谢谢何老师。 我们写前简单讨论了一下结构，提醒他可以把prevention 和危险写在一起， 不要记流水账，捡主要的例子就可以， 每个离子多一点内容。还答应了一个小奖励 （晚上可以和妈妈睡觉），结果小家伙很快就写完了。我喜欢他用的 conjunction words。  可是不知道怎样让他把结尾和开头写的生动点。谢谢啦。

lily@melbourne

刚刚拿到孩子的NAPLAN成绩，writing有些差强人意，上网来正好看见何老师的这个帖子，很有启发，谢谢啊。

sarahliang

何老师再帮忙看一下我女儿写的一篇（Ｙｅａｒ２）. 谢谢
Requirement:
Pretend you are an autumn leaf that has fallen off a tree and write about your adventures.

My daughter's writing:

Hello, I am Sliver the Leaf. I am as green as a leaf. I live at 77 tree street on a maple tree.

But one cool day when I woke up I noticed something odd. Instead of me having green I was yellowish and brownish. When I looked around I saw that the other leaves were yellowish and brownish too.

Suddenly, a great wind swooped and I lost my balance and fell to the ground. A little girl was walking, found me and picked me up.

"What a beautiful leaf," cried the girl. I was very scared then.

Once the girl took me to her home, she showed her family. I was shy then. The girl said "look at this beautiful leaf." The girl said " I will talk about this leaf for news tomorrow!" I heard her say leaves like me fall at Autumn.  That's why I turned yellowish brown.

Then she put me on her desk and went to sleep. The next morning she took me off the desk and went to brush her teeth.

The next day she took me to a big room full of faces. The day after that she put me into a house where she kept leaves.

At night time, the girl's mother reads storys and we listen.

I wish to be back at my old home but my new home is just as good.

洋八路

原帖由 sarahliang 于 2010-10-19 23:22 发表
何老师再帮忙看一下我女儿写的一篇（Ｙｅａｒ２）. 谢谢
Requirement:
Pretend you are an autumn leaf that has fallen off a tree and write about your adventures.

My daughter's writing:

Hello, I am Sliver the Leaf. I a ...

点评：

--   二年级的学生，文句写的很通顺，很好。
--   开头的几段写的很好。
--   除了颜色，可以对叶子作更多的描述，比如形状，重量等；对那个女孩也可以适当描述。
--   前面部分写的好，后面好象没有了故事, 要体现出, Adventure的情节（可以再编一些故事 -- 比如叶子如何再变成肥料。。）。
--   后面有几处时态不一致。

---------

Hello（better not using 'hello' in a formal writing), I am Sliver the Leaf. I am as green as a leaf (you are a leaf or as green as leaf?). I live at 77 tree street on a maple tree （good imagination).

But one cool day when I woke up I noticed something odd. Instead of me having green I was yellowish and brownish. When I looked around I saw that the other leaves were yellowish and brownish too. (good starting)

Suddenly, a great wind swooped and I lost my balance and fell to the ground. A little girl (you can give some description about the girl) was walking, found me and picked me up.

"What a beautiful leaf," cried the girl. I was very scared then （Why were you scared?).

Once the girl took me to her home, she showed her family. I was shy then (better not use 'then' again here). The girl said (don't need this one) "look at this beautiful leaf." The girl said. " I will talk about this leaf for news tomorrow!" I heard her say (saying) leaves like me fall at Autumn.  That's why I turned yellowish brown.

Then she put me on her desk and went to sleep. The next morning she took me off the desk and went to brush her teeth （took you off and went to brush her teeth -- where did she put you?).

The next day ( you just mentioned, the next morning above, should be the same day? )she took me to a big room full of faces. The day after that she put me into a house where she kept leaves.

At night time, the girl's mother reads (use past time tense: read) storys and we listen(ed).

I wish(ed) to be back at my old home but my new home is (was) just as good. (good you have an ending)

sarahliang

何老师评的真好。谢谢了。

明天准备给女儿详细讲。

不知道何老师收不收学生？

洋八路

写作话题之七 -- 关于“overused” –- 被过度使用的词汇

一篇叙述文章能否写的生动有趣，有很多重要的因素。除了故事情节的跌宕起伏，作者对人物、场景细节的描述是否充分和准确也是关键。如果说故事情节是一个文章的骨架的话，那么生动的文字描述就是它的血和肉。光有一个好的故事，而没有良好的文字运用能力，读者就无法进入作者所期望的想象梦境，无法充分体会文学的魅力。实际上，即使没有特别吸引人的情节，读者也可以从文章的准确用词和生动描述中获得身临其境的情感经历。毕竟，在现实生活中“平淡”还是主要的生活格调。大多数散文和诗歌就是使用了文字本身的魅力使人如痴如醉。

那么什么是文字运用能力呢？简单的说，就是通过对细节准确充分的描述来勾画出故事中人物和场景特征，从而实现作者的创作意图。大千世界，无法找到两个完全相同的人和物。同样是人，有男女、高矮、胖瘦、粗细、黑白等等外形区别，也有千变万化的内部特质。即使是同一个人，在不同时间和地点的个性呈现也象万花筒一样转换无常。那么，作者如何才能突出重要的细节，避免那种千篇一律的表述方式呢？

父母在辅导小孩写作的时候，最重要的一条就是要叫他们尽量避免使用那些“overused”，即被过度使用的词汇。因为这些词汇无法体现现实生活中的细节特征，过度使用的话就会使得文章没有“颜色”，即使故事再好，文章也会象一个缺乏营养的“干瘪巨人”，非常呆板无趣。

比如， 英文中的‘good’，就可能被过度使用。可以替代它的、更为准确描述的词多达几百个，这里简单列举如下：

terrific, virtuous, godly, righteous, noble, pure, innocent, respectable, courteous, admirable, credible, brilliant, creative, marvelous, superb, glorious, superior, pleasant, delicious, tasty, succulent, flavorful, sweet, glorious, heavenly, qualified, effective, yummy, exquisite, spectacular, magnificent, extraordinary, satisfactory, agreeable, harmonious, accomplished, commendable, splendid, fascinating,………..

其他很容易被过度使用的词汇还有 bad, go, get, come, say, see, look, very, nice, beautiful, ugly, interesting, big, small, a lot, 等等。

因此，提高小孩的写作能力，尽量避免过度使用这些不显细节的“简单”词汇也是一个有效的突破口。当然，也要避免那种不恰当地、“滥用”词汇的习惯。准确地、不多不少的描述可以体现作者的写作“功力”，如果没有大量阅读和深入理解是无法做到的。

好的故事，加上好的文字，将是一篇好的文章（注：我在这里用了三个平淡的‘好’字） -- 我建议自己改成：精彩的故事，加上美妙的文字，将是一篇动人的文章。

[ 本帖最后由 洋八路 于 2010-10-28 13:13 编辑 ]

Holly2010

那么，请问,  相对楼上那些被过度使用的词汇，能否举例说说哪些是您看到过，其他小孩用过的，比较好的词呢?

另外，过于使用生僻的词，是否也是要避免的呢?

还有，您用的“精彩”，”美妙“ 和 ”动人“，也是中文中的常用词。您的意思是否想说，不要在一句句子或一篇文章中重复出现同一个词，而要用不同的词来表达相同或相似的意思，令作文更加生动？

[ 本帖最后由 Holly2010 于 2010-11-3 11:35 编辑 ]

awind

thanks alot

insydney2009

好贴

hmy

原帖由 洋八路 于 2010-8-24 13:51 发表
写作话题之五：精读、泛读和写作

我收集了100多篇、各种写作风格的精读文章。我要求学生一个星期抄写一篇（或摘选其中一段），每天读两遍（一周读五天共10遍）。这里贴一篇供你参考。

谢谢洋老师的指点。老师能否推荐几本值得小学精读的书/段落， 假期里加强一下阅读理解的水平。

[ 本帖最后由 hmy 于 2010-11-10 10:23 编辑 ]

洋八路

小孩看书主要是看她自己的兴趣。可阅读的书籍有太多了，建议你经常带小孩到图书馆去，让他们自己自由选择。如果大人指定的书籍才看，无法培养小孩自己找书看的习惯。至于精读和泛读的文章，也没有严格的区分，主要是已经出版的书籍，总是有可读之处，而且看书是很主观，你觉得好，别人未必觉得好。先多看，然后才精看，不能反过来。多看了，发觉有可欣赏之处，用词，形容，比喻等，稍微关注 -- 这就是精读了。那种背诵的是很枯燥的，没有小孩喜欢。教小孩抄一遍，读两遍已经很好了。。

洋八路

原帖由 Holly2010 于 2010-11-3 11:29 发表
那么，请问,  相对楼上那些被过度使用的词汇，能否举例说说哪些是您看到过，其他小孩用过的，比较好的词呢?

另外，过于使用生僻的词，是否也是要避免的呢?

还有，您用的“精彩”，”美妙“ 和 ”动人“，也是中文中的常用词。您的意 ...

用词的目的是准确传达作者想要表达的意思，作者到底要突出什么重点？哪些是关键的？哪些是可以一般描述的？小孩写作一般是两种极端，一是，词汇贫乏，过度使用简单口语化词汇，无法细致描述想要表达的东西；另一个是有些小孩过度使用形容词和动词和副词（好像是为了显示作者的词汇量），其实词汇多有时候反而会混乱和歪曲原意。写作到底是要有一个目的的，准确描绘，需要对每个单词的用法越精确越好。常用的词也可以是准确的，简单的词汇也可以用于作者无意细致描述的内容。如果要突出你的重点，准确就是必须的，否则无法传递的信息。

不过，短期内重复使用同一个词汇，除非作者有特别意图，否则都是很乏味的。晦涩难懂，只要能准确表达也是可以的，当然也要看你的主要的读者群体是谁？写给小孩看的，还是写过大人看的？。。。

---------------
比如，She was beautiful。 (一般描述）.  --- She looked stunning in that dress. （加强描述） ---- She had torrents of blond hair.. （特点细节描述）

I felt good. (一般描述） --- I felt excited (加强）---  I was absolutely thrilled that she was coming. （具体化）

susanxie

dont actually care

Holly2010

原帖由 洋八路 于 2010-11-13 13:55 发表

用词的目的是准确传达作者想要表达的意思，作者到底要突出什么重点？哪些是关键的？哪些是可以一般描述的？小孩写作一般是两种极端，一是，词汇贫乏，过度使用简单口语化词汇，无法细致描述想要表达的东西；另一个是有些小孩过度使用 ...

很形象，谢谢！

[ 本帖最后由 Holly2010 于 2010-12-8 17:36 编辑 ]

洋八路

写作话题之八 -- “Tell” 和“show”的区别

一篇记叙文（故事）如果要写的“感动”人，作者用show （展示）比 Tell (讲述）的效果要好得多。因为展示是调动读者想象力身临其境，用自己的五官感知作品中的人物；而讲述是作者企图用把自己的感知结果直接告诉读者，读者因此变得“懒惰”，失去了让读者想象的关键环节。



下面我写了一个简单例子来说明这个问题：


Tell:


Andrew is very funny. He always makes us laugh in the classroom.
（大多数小孩都是这样讲故事的）


Show:


'Andrew, can you give your comments on the article?' Mr.Ho pointed a sudden request.


Andrew, who has been unusually quiet for some time since the class began, was hit hard by the alarm. He blinked his dreamy eyes, glancing left and then right. Slowly he pulled himself up.


'Ah, em, ah…..what?' He murmured, trying to grasp the air around him.


The whole class burst into a rippling laughter. At this, Andrew stretched his mouth wide, sticking out his red tongue, sending the cackling classroom further to its stomach.

一个是讲故事，一个是象演电影那样把现场展示给读者看，大家应该很容易发现两者的区别。两者都是用第一人称来写，在tell中，作者将自己的结论告诉读者，读者只是从字面上抽象的去认识andrew这个人，funny也是靠读者自己原有的经验去理解；而在show中，作者不作任何评论，没有一个funny的字眼，是让读者想象现场得出自己的结论。


其实，无论什么语言写作，这个道理都是一样的。如果大家细心一点，就会发现很多“文笔”好的作者(在足迹网上或其他的作品），其实就是自觉或者非自觉的运用了这种“调动读者感官”的技术。


[ 本帖最后由 洋八路 于 2011-1-16 11:02 编辑 ]

洋八路

原帖由 洋八路 于 2011-1-16 10:54 发表
写作话题之八 -- “Tell” 和“show”的区别

一篇记叙文（故事）如果要写的“感动”人，作者用show （展示）比 Tell (讲述）的效果要好得多。因为展示是调动读者想象力身临其境，用自己的五官感知作品中的人物；而讲述是作者企图用 ...

另一个show and tell 的例子 （copyright)

Tell:

My mum is a nice person. She loves me very much. She is very friendly and always ready to help others in need.

Show:

‘Sherry, darling, it is time to get up.’ A distant voice reached my eardrum and woke me up. Blinking and yawning, I caught sight of my mum’s smiling face. ‘You have an excursion today, and need to get up earlier. Don’t you remember? It is six now.’ She said cheerfully, patting my face.

‘Oh, yes!’ I felt an instant excitement, pushing behind any sleepiness that could have been lingering around. ‘Thank you, Mum for calling me up.’

I quickly dressed up, trotted to the bathroom doing all the usual washings. In less a few minutes, I was sitting in front of our round dine table.

‘Mum, what do you prepare breakfast for me? Can we have something quick?’ I asked, in a high spirit of the excursion I have been anticipating for weeks.

‘No need to rush. We have plenty of time. Breakfast is important for a day.’ She said. ‘I have also made some banana cakes for you, and more than enough to be shared with your classmates.’

‘That is excellent. Jessy and Angela would love that.’ I was delighted, recalling how Jessy and Angela, my best two friends, couldn’t stop kissing me when I shared banana cakes with them.

‘I will also have breakfast earlier.’ She said. ‘Today I am a school-canteen helper.’

‘Oh, I remember. It is last Friday of the month’ I said. Every month Mum goes to school canteen to help as a volunteer. Unfortunately today I won’t be able to enjoy my proud moments watching her merrily serving foods to my fellow students.
…..

SMART1968

原帖由 洋八路 于 2011-2-2 13:24 发表


另一个show and tell 的例子 （copyright)

Tell:

My mum is a nice person. She loves me very much. She is very friendly and always ready to help others in need.

Show:

‘Sherry, darling, it is time t ...

给你拜年了！